Thoughts on Work

EXHAUSTION

The skin on my hands is raw

My eyes feel full and tired

My back is stiff and worked

The third cup of coffee 

wakes my numb lips

just the same as the first one didn't 

Welcome to exhaustion 

It is uncomfortable 

and satisfying 

in a blue collar kind of way

in a good worker bee 

well trained minion

proud and strong 

ain't nobody got my back but me

kind of way

It is honest work

that holds it all together 

keeps my feet on the ground

kills my horse at the end of the day

keeps me in my place in the world 

My wings nicely folded in place

And I could do it

until my body fell apart 

I wonder how long that would take

since I am no spring chicken

anymore 

so I am told

and furthermore 

my head has been full 

of different dreams 

ever since I hatched 

Dreams that are starting to squawk at me

Scream through my knees

Gasp in the weak center of my back

Moan over pulled muscles

Wince with arthritic fingers

Fingers that were meant for different work

Work that can only be made by these hands

But the hands on the clock are ticking

And it is getting louder

Steels my sleep and wakes my dreams

Opens my eyes with 

Morning anxiety 

Fills my mind with Poetry
why is it 
that I do my best work
when I am empty

Welcome to exhaustion 

TICK

I have a tick in the tock of my brain 

When the work day is done

and the quiet sets in

and I am supposed to be resting 

any repetitive 

rhythmic

cyclical noise

will 
drive 
me 
insane 

The whir of a fan

Dripping rain drops 

The softest of snores

Click clack of a clock

It is the persistent pattern 

on to which 

my mental engine latches 

Must each round of sound

insist on stirring up questions 

Within a pot of stew

That should already be done?

My ears turn red 

from the fire 

that still burns in the hearth

scorching the contents 

whenever it is left to sit still 

for too long 

I get up 

in an insomniatic smoke alarm 

and rip the clock off the wall

so my mind can have 

a piece of sleep 

for the mere possibility 

of turning down 

the records of regret and repeat

so maybe I can sleep in peace 

A pause is all I'm asking for

Just a break from 
the 
tick

tick

ticking

reminder 

that life doesn't get any longer

It only gets shorter 

That a watched pot 

never boils 

But the watching 

The listening 

The ticking 

isn't about what has already 

been done

It is about what 

still 

hasn't 

even

begun 

Monster

There are brains inside this monster 

She is always trying to change 

the way I think

what I say

how I behave 

Reading books 

Listening to philosophy 

Running out of the cave where we live

Searching for the sunshine

Crap like that

But that’s ok

For I have an army

of dark cloud overlords 

who walk amongst her circle 

speak in tongues only she can understand

Wreck her heart with whispers 

Cut her throat with comebacks

Flood her mind with history 

every chance they get

So I can pull her back in 

hold her close

with these long strong arms of mine

All I have to do is wait 

Even the sunshine

disappears behind the clouds 

sometimes