When your ex-girlfriend
jumps in front of a semi-truck
because she just can’t take
one more fucking thing
When your lungs fill with fluid
Slowly over time
50 years to be exact
One cigarette after another
When your legs stop working
after your husband dies
and you have forgotten
everyone’s name that you love
When you make sure
no one is following you home
from the grocery store
because they guessed the wrong gender
When you are afraid to ask
someone’s citizen status
because we don’t know
who is listening anymore
When you call your cousin
who lives in Southern California
to make sure their house
hasn’t burned down to the ground
When you are the only one in the store
that the owner is following around
calling you buddy
but what they really mean is black
When your left arm goes numb
Neck muscles pinching your last nerve
Knots from the ropes
holding the world upon your shoulders
Swallow hard
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