Jeffrey @thejeffreymarsh

 

Carry

My uncle died

I had very little relationship with him

because he had relations with me

when I was very little

He was the angriest person I knew

Except for me

Now I am left 

Desperately trying not to carry on that legacy

Anger is a virus

that my whole family carries

Living on lies and conspiracy theory

and passing without a vaccine

My uncle died

His heart failed him

'cuz he never learned 

to have one

I dont know 

if anyone ever gave him one

The only thing I do know

is that they gave him this sickness

They spread it all around

to the next generation

A legacy of literacy

in hopeless disassociation

My uncle died

Maybe I will feel something

if I keep repeating it

but I don’t

I dont even feel angry

Not a smidgen of relief

Not a sniffle

Or even a tickle in my throat

But I got my vaccination anyway

Because a virus never leaves the body

So I will make sure 

it remains all mine

Foxes

Foxes dance their way

through the landscape

Luring our gaze 

as far from the den as possible

Slime molds slide 

their neon lace

Seductively over the surface

though usually underground

Stars shine light so bright

crossing billions of years of space

Yet we can only see them

in the dark.

People often seek to find

But it is rarely what we do

I think of all the things I so need to say

And cant seem to push words out of my mouth

small works

 

Jesus and Anger

Surrounded by a plague

you surrendered your vices

one by one

Gave up cigarettes and sugar

Supposed to let go of coffee and soda

Eventually, swearing and sanity went out the window too

The only addictions

that never left 

were Jesus and anger

The sage of rage 

is the righteous christ's

right hand man...or in this case, woman

How else were you gonna put

the fear of god

into your drunk husband

and protect your children

without a praise the lord chokehold

and a hallelujah backhand

You fed me rootbeer candy

under the table

I would disappear into your hugs

when I was tiny

You lost your teeth before I came

so I never felt your bite

Before I lived a dozen years

you made it very clear

If I didnt drink the saviors juice

I would be welcomed

into the handbasket

and you would not wave goodbye

I never told you 

who I was

but I loved to make you laugh

To visit was to bare the burden

and learn the lesson 

of bittersweet

I made it my mission

to give you permission

to cease the wringing of fingers

Serve up some merciful laughter

along with the illusion 

of who you thought me to be 

 

Agreement

Hello Dad

It is my belief that in this life

one of the only real points of it

is to get to know each other

To come to agreement 

is unrealistic 

and rarely ever achieved

even amongst the deepest connection

There have been a few souls in this life

that I so desperately wanted to know 

forever

But those were not the cards that were dealt

Those souls I did not have agreements with

but knowing them 

was so fulfilling, so ecstatic, so much better 

than agreement

So when you tell me

that maybe there are

certain things

that I don’t want to hear

It doesn’t allow me 

the privilege 

of possibly 

getting to know you better

It doesn’t extend an invitation

to share certain things

that I think

maybe you don’t want to hear

We don’t have to have agreement

to talk to each other

in fact, as you are surely aware 

we rarely ever do

Think of how much more we could hear

Think of how much more we could say

How much more could we laugh

How much more could we cry

I am tired of feeling tired

I think its possible to peacefully disagree

Everyone is right and everyone is wrong

It would be nice to try something new

Brooklyn

I am as white as the moon

Really, I glow

Like alpen snow 

or a toasted marshmallow center 

Like the highlight of a pearl

or a sunshine filled sail

I was told to stay pure

Learned to be stark

Worked to be brilliant 

Grown to be harsh

Centuries of aggression 

White washing might as right 

 

She 

could easily 

eliminate me

but Instead she chooses to

illuminate me

Her shoulders are as strong as any man

from a genetic history of

sugar cane harvest 

cotton picking

and Brooklyn brownstones 

Even though her life has been 

as rough as 

hurricane winds 

to butterfly wings

 

She 

remains 

as sweet as

puppy kisses and birthday wishes

Sweeter than the sugar 

from whence she came

She is as soft as top soil 

to those freshly planted fields of cane

Rich and warm 

like burnished mahogany 

Full and deep 

like Nat King Coles

Stardust Melody

 

I am as white as the moon 

She could easily 

eliminate me

instead she chooses to 

illuminate me

And now I know 

we don't have to spend 

our restless nights

alone