Lance

 

Leo

Hard hearted

Ain’t it funny 

how we don’t notice 

pieces of our heart are frozen 

until they begin to melt 

I didn’t know 

the snow storm started

until I was buried

I didn’t see 
that I was so guarded

until I found a lock on the gate

I didn’t feel 
the tightness strung 
through the holes in my chest 

until someone else
loosened the laces

Aren’t we supposed to hear 
whispers of the universe?

The soft rhythm 

of a zipper in the dryer

The hard hearted 
are often blind and mute 

but not deaf

Everyone knows the right song 

when it’s played 

I am not a fan of heavy metal music
But it seems to take that kind of sound

in order for the order of things

to get my attention

I am dizzy 
from all these rotations 
around the sun

How much energy 

am I exerting 

just trying to hold still?

I often feel the need 

to push against something 

or someone 

so I don’t fall down

I hope I can learn 
to become a wave upon the ocean 
Instead of an iceberg out to sea

Very Good

I’m not very good 

at staying in the good 

I coast for two days

and then the thirds not so charming 

I’m not very good at taking a compliment 

Sitting in the space of praise 

makes the count down start

I slow motion implode

sabotaging each good moment 

until 

I 

RUIN 

THEM

ALL

I’m very good at holding onto guilt

Shame could be my middle name

I’ll tell me how I’m wrong

in every tiny detail 

Then I can make sure

I get it right when I tell you

so we can both feel bad

Ring around the rosies 

Pocket full of posies

Ashes, ashes

We
all 
fall 
down

Self Portrait #...I lost count.

New Work

Footy Pajamas

I have been trying
to step into myself 
for 
so 
long 
now
41 years 
to be specific 
Stepping into oneself 
is sometimes like trying 
to put on 
a pair of unruly footy pajamas 
I can never seem 
to get my first foot
in the right hole 
to begin with
and then I lose my balance 
trying to stand on one leg 
to get the other foot in

Can't ever seem 
to find the armholes 
stretching my shoulders
back behind myself 
like a pretzel
like the
awkward
human 
pretzel 
I am 
struggling with the zipper 
Its always the cheapest damn zipper
in the world 
and I always
get it stuck 
in the fleece 
at least 
2 times 
You know what they say 
42 times a charm
Finally 
I zip it
up to my neck 
feeling choked, panting and sweaty 
like a pathetic bedtime superhero 
who didn’t accomplish anything 
Certainly didn’t save nobody
By then I’m exhausted 
and all I want to do is go to bed 
NAKED

Maybe 
I don’t want 
to step into nothing 
anymore
Maybe 
I just want 
to run around 
like a happy toddler 
barefoot and dangerous 
NO diaper on 
bellybutton hanging out
Full of joy and freedom 
A squeal in my laugh
spark in my eyes 
that says 
look out
because I’m bout 
to start 
some trouble