I am

I am
sure
there have been 

countless poems 

through the literary years 

of human history 

written as a statement of 

I am 

Maybe that is what poetry is 

A declaration of existence 

in times of isolation 

To hear the echoing of one's voice

as it bounces off the canyon walls of another 

to remind us 

that when we are lonely

we are never really alone 

So here is another

all my own 

An attempt that one could label 

as shameless narcissism 

but one would be wrong 

For it is simply a reach 

into the ether 

with an open hand

A recognition of complexity 

An identification of specificity 

A halting of oversimplification 

An attempt to cease 

this insistent pattern of self-judgment 

A cast shadow from dark clouds 

blown in by the gusts of self-doubt

White frothy plastic looking waves

Ice cold frozen paralyzing waves 

of useless guilt 

that crash into me again and again

Electric current left to coarse through me

post 
insistent redundant instructional conversations

No wonder I have this overwhelming desire

to assemble this puzzle slowly in solo atonement 

atonement solely to myself

So let me say instead 

attainment 

A statement of who 
I am

Shameless tender intentional placement of puzzle pieces 

one by one 

I can label this piece as shameless

If I want to 

and place it

wherever I like 

without 

insistent implicit moral condescension 

or 

externally imposed pretention

disguised as suggestion 

I can find the shape that says 

I am soft 

Allow the fluidity of definition 

to flux back-and-forth 

along the greyscale 

of that rendered graphite texture  

I can rescue and gently resuscitate 

the worn-out corner pieces

the ragged edge pieces

that say 

I am grit 

I can snap together

the repeat 

of easy pieces 

that sound out my heartbeat 

I am rhythm 

I am song 

I am music

I can fidget with the nameless piece 

that only exists as a color 

Nothing in particular needed to show you 

about where it belongs within the big picture

I am sky 

I am light

I am breath

I am soul

I can see the spaces 

where I have not quite discovered 

the right fit

There are empty holes 

that need to be filled with

I am love

I am good

I am worth

I am limitless 

I am endless

There are no spaces for criticism 

This is not a construction of analysis

Just because the puzzle is not assembled 

does not mean that it is broken or incomplete 

Even when all the pieces are in place

the cracks will still remain visible 

anyway

For I am growth

I am movement 

I am willingness 

I am reaching 

I am connection 

Just because 

all my life thus far

I have chosen to accept 

pieces of love

that were conditional and limited

does not mean 

I 

have 

to 

continue 

to

Those pieces are misshapen and bent

misused and abused 

from attempts to force them 

into spaces where they did not fit

I shall flip them over

Choose the opposite

I am open

I am reception

I am clarity

I am whole

I am significance

I am significant 

Every piece of me

Every shiny piece

Every weathered surface

Every empty space

Every dark place

Every delicate

Messy

Articulate

Brazen

Naked

Insecure

Calculated

Fluid

Hysterical 

Lost

Raging

Mysterious 

Gorgeous

Piece

is significant 

Because I am significant 

Just because

I am

It will only last for a few moments

It is a shame

that no one can see

the reveling that is taking place

as I sway slow with myself

in this rocking chair

No one can see 

but me

Then again 

maybe it isn't for anyone else to see

Just me

It's a shame that no one can hear 

the synchronized rhythm being kept

by the ticking of the clock 

the creaking of the floor

the tapping of my toes

and the gorgeous silence that lies beneath

Could be music to my ears only 

The very ones that need to hear 
has nothing to do with feeling lonely

It's a shame that no one can feel 

the depth of breath 

that I am taking in

finally 

The length of exhales

that flow out

easily

with the most peace I have felt

in a very long time

So I am keeping it

It will only last for a few moments

and it is mine

For I am done

jumping

for other people 

to conclusions 

off cliff edges 

If you would like to see me

find glorious moments with me

then you know where I am

It has been a long year 

An even longer road

I am halfway through my life

I refuse to chase after time anymore

It can chase after me for a change

Because 

I

am

worth

the chase

Within this fleeting calm

that I savor

thoroughly

is more vast an ocean of passion

than even Einstein could imagine

Within this loyal, beating heart

that I listen to

faithfully 

everyday

is enough fire to burn through to the coming reincarnation

Within this motionless gaze

that willingly meets yours

in the absence of shame

is a soul that moves

Towards you

With you

Against you

Under you

Over you 

Inside you

Through you

Most importantly

Next to you

and if not

then Past you

when you are not looking

Even while my body rocks

inside long awaited stillness

If you cannot meet me

right where I am

with compassion 

and empathy

No judgement

No requirements

No lines to be drawn

If you cannot meet me

in the blissful

necessary 

quiet

then I will slip by

disappearing 

easily

beyond the noise you bring

and it will be a shame 

for you will not know

until it is too late

I will be gone

and once again

no one will see the reveling 

that is taking place 

as I sway slow with myself

in this rocking chair

no one will see 

but me