Something out of Nothin'

90 pounds wet

is what my mother is
five foot two

eyes of blue

bicepts made of stone

muscle and sinew and bone
which looks like almost nothin'

The space she takes up

while she is alive

will be nothin'

compared to the space that will be left behind

when she is gone

She can't get enough oxygen

the air is fighting voraciously for space

in her emphysema scarred lungs

just as the air will vacuously leave mine

when she is gone

She doesn't have enough estrogen

to hold the woman that she is

in within her skin

Her energy

always emanating creativity
asserting a lifetime of maternity

She doesn't have enough teeth anymore

to fill her empty to the core

She lacks the nourishment 
to soothe the ailments

that hold her body at 90 pounds wet

She was not taught to think of herself as enough

Grew up with almost nothin'

Didn't have enough of a father

so she was her own

Protecting herself

90 pounds wet

she wasn't scared of nothin'

Standing up to any kind of threat

fighting as fiercely as the air in her lungs

with anyone

who dared come between she

and her 6 brothers and sisters

Didn't have enough of a mother

so she was her own  

cooking and cleaning for her siblings

and in turn

learning to do nothin' 
for herself

Then she grew up

and finally had enough

left the nothin'

made a family

built a home

five foot two
eyes of blue

bicepts made of stone
muscle and sinew and bone

made something 
out of nothin'

As a mother
She was always making something

growing something

baking something

painting something

crocheting something

sculpting something
singing something

smoking something 

She has made herself into so many somethings

I'm so tired

of people telling each other

that they are nothin'

when we are all so much more than even just one thing

We have 10 fingers

and we claw at each other

because we are told 
from the beginning 
that we aint worth nothin'

We have 10 toes 
and we run from each other

because we couldnt possibly believe 
that we might mean more to each other than nothin'

We have eyes that can see

but our minds have been filled with visions of nothin'

We have ears that can hear

but efforts made to soften the tone of our own voice

are next to nothin'

We have hearts

that constantly bench press

the multiplied weight

of all these piles of nothin'

because our brains are Jonesin'

on the lie that is lack

on the lie that is limitation

all the while forgetting

that even when we feel like we are only

90 pounds wet

and our 'nothin' says its too late

because we have run ourselves 

into the ground

for all of our lives
we still have a choice

Every single 
numbered, 
borrowed
gift of a day 
that we wake up 
with another chance to breathe
is another chance 
to make a choice

we can stop listening to the

gut wrenching

self shattering

teeth grinding

mind altering

screams of nothin'

and choose instead

to fill the space 

within our lungs, our homes, our jobs, our hearts, 
within our minds, our childrens minds, our friends minds,

within our parents minds, our lovers minds, 
complete strangers minds

with all the somethings we can muster

and we must

for it is time

to make something
out of all

this 
nothin'