Excuse
me
for a
moment
My
queen is screaming at me
I
used to think
that
I was just getting older
But then I cracked
and my
back started to snap at me
My
hips would give me lip service
My
neck will whip lash me with sass into next week
When I was younger
Imprisoned by my dispositionlacking vertical precision
I
remember my mother saying
to my
sister and I
Why
do you slouch so much
you
should stand up taller
My
sister would hunch
forward
at the shoulders
and
it would pull her chin down
so
she stared at the ground
My
hips would slump
forward
and snake up my spine
and
it would pull my chin down
so I
stared at the ground
I
didn't realize
what
she was really saying
I
don't know if she realized
what
she was really saying
Now
all the crooks in my core
that
have been pinched
over
the years
from
improper posture
are
refusing to carry that weight anymore
All
the internal wounds
that
my body
has
been curling around
are
bleeding through
refusing
to hide
not
even once more
The
exaggerated curve
of
these misaligned vertebrae
has
been a map
of
places to travel to
that
need to be healed through
I
have cradled my hips
at an
inarticulate angle my whole life
My
sexuality caged and protected
holding
the unexpressed grief
from
a history of abuse and misuse
The
disc between my scapula
have
consistently slipped
to
make room for the heart
that
would shrink back inside
to
search for her courage
like
a cowardly lion
If
only she could see
that
she is a lion
My
chin pointing earthward
always
kept me grounded
But
it fought with my vocal chords
silently
trying to escape to the sky
Their
wrestling for position
distorting
my crown and crane
creating
the stretch and strain
from
the multiplying thoughts
the
yearning blossoms of my brain
Desire
that kept on burning
trapped in that incinerator
as I
consistently insisted
on
slowly cremating my frame
I
like to think I have an old soul
but my
soul must have told the old
to
wisely crawl into my body
to
awaken me with aches and pains
now
that I no longer have
the teenage angst
needed
to refrain
doubtfully
retreat
redundantly
mistreat
the royal and regal that thankfully remains
This Thai Chi master
holding
pose
fragile
and unanswered
This old blues standard
rocking
steady but unmastered
This ballet dancer
stretching
slowly
intention
overflowing
out
of every undulating limb
It is
time I embraced
such
graceful consideration
Quiet, encompassing gentleness
selfless, shameless pride
cradled
in reverence
through
the loving humility
of my uniquely perfect posture
Holding
the temporary presence
of my
physical existence
as
the sacred currency
of
this appointed temple
Just
as I imagine
my
mother held me
gingerly
and gratefully
for
the first time
So I
shall listen to her
I
will stand taller
No
more slouching
The
origin of my lineage
will not have it
Excuse
me
for a
moment
I
need to correct myself
My
queen is calling for me