Ocean

I never understood
the depth of the ocean
by submerging my self within it
The breadth of the sea
was not for me to see
from the outside

My grasp of the great overwhelm
and true conception
of a source without end
was only discovered
through deep diving expeditions
that took place on the inside

I stood on the shoreline of my sanity
at the gravesite of my vanity
The birthplace of my sexuality
The boundaries of my family
Exhausted from decades of waves pounding
against the definition of my self worth

Sand swallowed my toes and I crumbled
like poorly built, dehydrated sandcastles
as I stood in the shower
Arms outstretched
bracing myself against the tile
so I didn't drown

Feeling the water flow over my skin
my chest opened wide
and the ocean poured out
My mouth open wide
releasing the silence
I had been swimming in

Sobs and gasps and gulps
the size of the Pacific
baptized me
in the magnitude
of a possibility
I had never known

I had never been to this harbor
I had never felt the pull of this tide
The power of the undertow
rendered me helpless
A rag doll surrendered
Flushing my orifices with salt and grit

Scraping all the barnacles from my hull
with one gigantic swell
Drawing out all infection
imperfection and dis-ease
with that force full invasion 

of rejuvenating, intravenous, saline solution

That unfathomable vast
The incomprehensible, magnificent, bottomless oddysey

called more love than I could possibly imagine
is the only ocean
that has ever truly commanded
my attention