Whispers

When the world around you gets too loud

When the information taken in makes you feel too full

When everywhere starts to look like nowhere




Go back




and listen to the whispers




When voices suddenly turn into shouting

When opinions start to rapidly multiply

When there are too many feet on the path




Slow down




and listen to the whispers




When wanderlust gets too wild

When the forks in the road won't cease division

When the brush becomes too thick for your machete 




Stop walking, and for gods sake, stop hacking




and listen to the whispers




When history becomes too heavy

When good advice starts to make you feel crazy

When the sounds of another's story stifles you 




Hold still




and listen to the softest, smallest, sweetest whispers




Please don't misinterpret

I value experience

I value wisdom

I value clarity

I value the universal

I value shared understanding

I am learning to be vulnerable

I am learning to be honest

I am learning to take care of myself

and I am learning to return to myself







For, I am doing it yet again

Looking to the 

external 

for something 

that can only be found 

within

When my incessant search outside myself

for comfort 

for answers

for direction

for truth

for resolution

Leads me into the middle of nowhere

Leads me into a mindscape I don't know how to traverse

Leads me to the cliffs edge of my sanity 

Before I leap forward

I must step back

from the edge

for just a minute

I must place my hands upon my shoulders

Pull me gently onto solid ground

Slowly turn me around 

Take my face tenderly in both my hands

Cover my soft ears with my strong fingers

Close my eyes with soft kisses

Wrap my long arms around me

and sing to me




"Do you remember me"?

"Do you remember me"?

"Do you remember me"?




Whether I am right or wrong

does not matter

Whether I am good or bad 

does not matter

Whether I am smart or not

does not matter

Whether I am a pillar of reason and logic

or bat shit crazy

does not matter

I am all of those things and

I am none of those things

I just am

I know me

I trust me

All I need to do is listen

Always listen

Listen to the whispers

Do not forsake yourself

The whispers are there to help you

They ARE you

They always know what to do

They always know where to go

They always know the way home

and if I know the way home 

then maybe I can have the courage 

to turn back around

spread my wings 





























































































































































































































and fly off the top of this mountain

No Fucking Fish

Always up for anything

is how I have been
described 

Always up to drop what I
am doing 

to do what someone else
wants 

Eat what someone else craves 

Go where someone else
wants 

Listen to what someone
else thinks

Live where someone else
wants 

Sing what someone else
wants to hear

Feel what someone else
wants 

Have the adventures of
someone else's life

How many times does one
have to do that 

and when does it become
something that feels normal

When do the scales tip

When does giving away my
desires and my time and my life 

become an intolerable
crime I commit against myself

When does it become
irresponsible to others 

to continue to neglect
myself

The sins of the father do
not have to be laid upon the child

Where is the line between
selfish and selfless

A selfless act is seen as
noble 

but it only is 

if it is
done with a cup that runeth over

If the definition of self
less 

is lack of self 

then what are you really
giving someone

You are not teaching them
how to fish

You are telling them to
abandoned their pole

because you have abandoned
your own

and the result is that no
one is nourished 

No fucking fish

No bread

No water

and certainly no wine







Why can't you stand
up for yourself 

is a question I have
always been asked

and now I find 

that I am the one 

asking myself that very question 

If you find that you
cannot stand up for another

it is probably because you cannot
stand up for yourself

Until all the marionette
strings are snipped

and they dangle from your
fingertips alone

Only then will you
understand the minutiae of affect 

that lifting just one
finger can have

because there will be no
more resistance 

at the other end of the string 

there will be no more
other 

to discharge my own discomfort into 

Only then will I see all
of it 

Only then will I feel all
of it

Only then will I stop
suffering 

Only then will I accept
all of it as mine

Only then can I choose to
love all of it

Only then can I choose to
change it

I will not be whole

Even if I am always human

I will not be content

No matter how still I try to hold

I will not be sure of
myself

Ever abating the relentless the grip of doubt 

I will not be of service

My cup will not be full


Until I experience 

the unconditional
condition 





































































































































to thine own self be true